Baby Ducks In The FP – TWB70

The FP is like Breaking: Electric Boogaloo set in a dystopian society of young twenty somethings who think the world’s flat and nothing exists outside the confines of their California subdivisions.

Frazier Park and the 248

Frazier Park, a subdivision somewhere in the greater state of California where wars aren’t fought over color or race but by county lines and dance. Not the Samba, not ballet, no crunk, but video game dance battles.

Beat Beat Revolution, similar but exactly equal to the popular ninities arcade Dance Dance Revolution encourages battlers to pop, lock, and step in the name of where you from for points earned and undeniable street cred. Hit your mark and you live to fight dance another day.

Too bad for BTRO, leader of the 248. Good guy living in a bad town. He danced till he couldn’t dance anymore. Poor fella’s heart gave out in a dance battle against the penultimate villain next door, L Dubba E, who is just as annoying as his name sounds.

Sure BTRO could’ve been roofied or maybe lugging about in a huge pair knee high ultra space boots wasn’t the best choice of footwear when playing a game where you must step on small lily pad sized shapes in an effort to score big. Not knocking his style but those boots weren’t made for walking, it’s not just what they do. One of this days those boots are going to dance all over you.

Wow, this is wrong on so many levels.

Soul Man, 1986.

Hero is In The DNA

JTRO, brother to BTRO and witness to his fall from grace, leaves the 248 in great hero fashion to grieve for a period of time unknown to everyone but the screenwriter of this film. There was a montage, so we must assume it’s been, like, fitty years since he’s been gone. Okay, more like two at the most. Dude didn’t even grow a beard by the time KCDC trekked across the small stretch of highway in a beat up ol’ Honda in search of the forgotten 248 heir to the throne.

JTRO, self exiled 248 member, made good with his time getting swole carry wood and chopping logs. When KCDC finds him, and pleads for the hero to return home, JTRO refuses. The 248 ain’t his life no mo.

“I’d rather bust these logs and dream of my dead brother and question why he wore those damn boots anyway. He knew they were too big!”

Frustration aside, JTRO understood what he must do: he most return to the FP.

A fallen tree in a forest doesn’t make a sound. However, revenge screams like a mutha effing donkey on steroids. FP Homecoming

Home isn’t like it use to be. With the 249 in charge it’s like 1940’s prohibition up in the 248. L Dubba E, heir to the one liquor store in town has stopped service the 248 disrupting life as we knew little of it; we can only assume that shit is bad on a dystopian level. No drink means the bums are dry and if the bums are dry, then the baby ducks don’t get fed. The baby ducks don’t get fed. Not my words. All credit goes to KCDC for that, which is the best line of the entire film and there are some doozies.

TRO Hearts Stacey In The Fp

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do

But without the drink, fathers becomes assholes and beat up on their daughters. No heroes journey is complete without a damsel in distress and as harsh and real as John Mayer sung that beautifully crafted song, Stacey is a complete mess. We don’t even know why JTRO would even bother, but we do know that he didn’t take a shot in high school. As she was blowing through guys, JTRO respected the and like the girl enough as not to be just another bike ride. He’s dizzy without even have slept with the girl and among other horrible attributes, she’s hanging withL Dubba E who we can only assume has herpes of the everything. But a hero has chilvery etched into his DNA, and JTRO can’t fight that feeling of wanting to save his Winnie Cooper. Maybe she is cute, in that Betty on crack next door type of way or maybe it’s because he only sees out of one eye. Did I mention JTRO wears an eye patch?

The Redeemer

No redemption song is complete without it’s maestro, BLT, to lead the redeemer to salvation. Through training and excessive hard work, JTRO will work his way to the supreme status of sleeping within the trainers quarters. Scrubs sleep outside. To be the best and covet a comfortable mattress, JTRO will have to be the best, but unfortunately his vision is cloudy — he lacks focus. That girl got him dizzy!

No heroes journey goes without a training montage! (Jamaican Horns Here)

  1. Running
  2. Weights
  3. Running with weights, DC, piggyback
  4. Dragging a tire
  5. Beat Beat Revolution Waffles sandwiches
  6. And electrified tennis racquets – now lasts some low grade Rocky shit

NIGGA

N: Never
I: Ignorant
G: Getting
G: Goals
A: Accomplished

Didn’t really bother me. Well, it did before this stupid ass validation as to why they allowed KCDC used it so freely when I saw no black people in this film. Middle class youngster during the nineties and up till now, still find it okay to use the word nigga when there isn’t a black person around to correct them. Some of them just don’t care because they’re hip, listen to rap music, and have a couple of black friends.

Words of wisdom: you will still get your ass whipped. Just saying.

Stripper Shame

I was more upset over the tire stripper pool. Okay, this is the moment in the heroes journey when he’s tested before the final face off with L Double E . JTRO, his trainer BLT, and KCDC invade a party hosted in the 138, a ramshackle Russian Trailerhenge park where dreams go to die.

This is where we not only find the girl, Stacey, but our boys happen upon a tire stripper pole based in a pool of water. Now that’s trashy. Isn’t stripping for those idiots in that town insulting enough? You have this poor dunk girl —because alcohol how she eases the pain — swaying to in fro on a pole mounted in a tire surrounded by water in a kiddie pool? Now, that’s offensive.

To test his training, JTRO has to entertain the musing of another loud mouth idiot who resembles a smaller and lest cool Gary Oldman from True Romance. It’s in this scene we learn what truly broke his brother BTRO, however, the characters never elude to the fact that BTRO was drugged before his death match with Double L, and the life hack to never send anyone to get you a drink. Date rape rule #1: Order your own drink and watch the bartender make it yourself, ladies.

BTRO Avenged!

The best two moments from this Beat Beat Revolution dance off is the bystander cuffing a woman’s breast for no apparent reason than to show a man holding one beast of a nonchalant woman and the fact that the death match was enclosed inside a ratty mesh cage.

Yes, a cage match, people! If you’ve ever played DDR, you should understand how ridiculous this is as you literally jump, hop, and step in place to play this game. A cage ain’t gonna do nothing for you but give somebody tetanus in this instance.

After the hero avenges his brother’s death, a fight breaks out and somebody pulls a gun. This was by far the best directed sequence in the movie. The effects were well done and the action scenes were quite impressive for a film on a limited budget.

The FP Does Not Get Made Without Overwhelming Support

As ridiculous a film this is; The FP does not get made if not for the support of family, friends, and the entire 248. Someone had to read this script and question whether the Trost Bros. had lost their collective minds. It’s in this support from I assume the place he’s from that this film shows its true heart.

Listed in the credits:
* Trost Bros. – Written and Directed
* Ron Trost – Ex Producer/ Effects Coordinator
* Sarah Trost – Costume
* Brandon Trust – Directory of Photography
* Jason Trost – Story By

No matter how bad the film might be, it takes a lot of effort to pull together the resources to complete such an endeavor.

Kudos to all involved in the production of this film. They were successful in their efforts to get a sequel made to The FP, and are currently in post-production. So, if this podcast episode encourages anyone to watch this movie, then maybe that’ll encourage you to support the sequel whenever it releases.

The Scoop Dujour

Links:

The squeal to The FP in the works. BEATS OF RAGE: THE FP PART II

Almost Black – Indian student accepted into medical school as an African American

Dedicated to my wife.

Flava Text of the Week:

Never Ignorant Gettin’ Goals Accomplished

The plate full but we’re always open for suggestions

Leave us a voicemail or email about the podcast episode, ask a question, or share what entertains you.
Phone 520-775-1690
Email feedback@talkingwithburritos.com
Follow links: Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc.
Subscribe links: iTunes, RSS, email newsletter, etc.

 

Leave a Reply