Trainwreck and How To Turn A Hoe Into A Housewife

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In the movie Trainwreck, Amy Schumer plays a commitment-phobe, Amy, who falls for a nice guy, Aaron, and that’s just not natural… for her. Through sex with detachment and various acts of debauchery, Amy, presents herself as the person you would not want to have a long time relationship with. The one-night stand was just that, a one-night stand. No need to exchange phone numbers or cuddle. Cum and bounce. It’s all fine and dandy if the participating parties understand the intent of the moment. However sometimes, such a strategy isn’t executed with tactical precision. In the movie Trainwreck, Amy, slips ups, and sleeps over with a guy who genuinely enjoys her and sees pass the ruse that is her horrible persona. He’s in this for the long haul and committed to turn this “hoe” into a housewife.

Hoe Purgatory resides between love and hate; between first date and moment before saying I love you and meaning it for the first time.

Now a hoe can be a man, woman or a garden tool. We’ve all encountered that person in our lives and never did we walk around referring to them as just promiscuous. I would now, yes. Now that I’ve read a few books and consider myself somewhat bookish. But in the context of this movie and Amy Schumer’s comedic sensibility, a hoe is a hoe.

The Formula

The formula is quite simple actually. All you really need is patience, understanding, and the fortitude to weather the storm as the love interest in question tries their hardest push you away. They will bite and it will hurt but until you earn their trust you will not be granted entrance into their heart. Sure you can bail but as we see in this movie, Aaron chose to stick it out and in around Amy until she could no longer resist being human and acknowledge her true feelings towards him.

However, this this as an excuse to take any one persons shit for too long.

There was a scene in this movie where enough was just enough for Aaron to holla out deuces a la C. Brown and bees out on Amy. The admirer has to be unafraid to walk out or send that break up text to said hoe because it’s all in the formula. Separation is a powerful catalyst to self-awareness in the hoe. That taste of sweet love, no matter hard it was to choke down, is in most cases just enough to plant its seed into the heart of hoe. Without that loving feeling the hoe will often feel empty and that’s when the self-awareness kicks in and the world that they once knew could not be their future without the admirer.


Results will vary with the extent of damage incurred during the tumultuous part of the relationship called Hoe Purgatory. Hoe Purgatory resides between love and hate; between first date and moment before saying I love you and meaning it for the first time.The hoe will struggle with the idea that they can’t love anyone while the admirer struggles with the questions of how could they love someone doesn’t love them back. Hope keeps you the possibility of love attainable; however, if the hoe and the admirer wait too long to take action appropriate to their cause the consequences may inhibit either of them the luxury to gallantly C Brown out of the relationship.

The C Brown moment in the movie Trainwreck was pretty much your simple “I’m fed up with this shit” departure from an ill-tainted relationship sabotaged by the hoe, but it serve it purpose as the catalyst to hoe self-awareness. But that was just a movie and in a sense just another fairytale. No matter how horrible Amy was towards Aaron, there was a feeling that she wasn’t bad enough. Aaron would pretty much have to suffer greater pain and heartache for the I’m sorry moment in this film. Amy was fully capable of wrecking this guy’s life as a hoe or fuck boy will tend to do, but it was still a poignant glimpse into what it takes to make a troublemaking hoe a housewife, or househusband, or whatever politically correct term we use these days.